Divorce was a Gift

This is a continuation of Wynne’s personal journey.  You can read Part 1 here: How a Hike and a Leaf Changed my Life.

I assumed I would become happier as an adult. I married, raised three amazing kids, and have fond memories of those years.

As time passed, the barbed wire began weakening its grip on my heart. I realized some decisions I made when I was guarding my true self were no longer working for me.

A WAKE UP CALL

Then came the wake-up call. I remember sitting in my colossal, Monet-like bedroom, adorned with blue and yellow French Toile fabric and wall plaques, wooden antiques from a barn somewhere in the French countryside, looking out over a beautiful canyon and mountains to the east in beautiful San Diego.

All I could think was, “I live in this amazing place in this beautiful house and have three amazing children and the one relationship that should be the best in my life is actually the worst.”

“Which relationship is that?” a wise woman had asked me.

Divorce is never easy to contemplate. I knew my marriage was broken, but I persisted because I took a vow and valued commitment and perseverance.

Then, the epiphany came. The relationship I needed to fix was the one with myself.

A CHANCE AT A DO-OVER

When my 20-year marriage fell apart, I realized I was actually given a gift – the opportunity to have a do-over. (That is the term my friends and I use when we did not like the outcome in whatever game we were playing and wanted another chance.)

I felt a huge sense of relief that I could put the marriage behind me and move on. I was granted a clean slate.

More profoundly, I could actually start clipping away the barbed wire, which had held my heart hostage, and rediscover who I really was. My divorce was a gift.

Read part III of Wynne’s store here: Life Changing Pain and Reinvention.